monday morning infedelity

looking out the window.
i felt the day beginning.
"you are"
"you are"
"you are"
he said as we woke. I was hating the air.

and his words flung a memory before me
of the mountains
and of a boy with full eyes who held me and sang out
"so hum shiva hum"
You see, I thought among those maddening hills, with the spirit and the birds,
that we could become like air
and our wild hands would be like ghosts
our wild acts unmade

But later, alone with my actions
I made demands of the spirit "Tell me I wont be held accountable!
Not for the sins of earthly bodies in such a place of magic!"

ive been sitting on this freely
until today
"I am." And my hands are painted red.
for the first time I face it
these wild hands
are flesh

and the guilt is unbearable
hiding from the spirit spitting words